Becoming a mom has definitely softened my heart. I have never been a crier and have been proud of that. But since being a mom I find that tears come more often than I would like for seemingly silly reasons. But when I find that one the reasons is when Curtis is having a rough time and I can't do anything about it and at times have inflicted the problem, it really makes me sad.
Take the last couple of weeks for example. Curtis and I went on an 8 day vacation without Travis. I was excited to go see my mom and for Curtis to get to spend time with his grandma. But Curtis LOVES his dad. He likes me, but his dad is his #1. So we had a couple of rough nights and I felt bad that Curtis didn't get to have his regular schedule or get to see his dad. Then we got home and a few days later Travis left for Twin Falls with the FFA for 4 days. Again, poor little Curtis is without his dad and there is nothing that I can do about it. I can see that he misses him and I try not to mention "Daddy" so as to not make it worse.
So, back to the issue of tears. Curtis had such a hard time going to bed last night. So much so that I rocked him to sleep. He never gets such a luxury. But I just felt bad that his dad hadn't been there to put him to bed for the last few nights. So after getting him to bed I got ready to watch the I rented. I have no idea what I was thinking when I got it. It was about this couple who dies when their daughter is a year old and their dysfunctional friends have to take over raising her. It turned out to be a good movie, but it got to me. I guess it pulled at my heart strings to think of Curtis Boy to permanently without his dad. That would really be a terrible thing and I am blessed that Travis is around most of the time.
Fortunately for Curtis and me Travis will be home this afternoon and Curtis can be a happy boy again!
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