Feeling a Bit Better

I feel like I should post something a bit more positive and not have that last post be the star of my blog for the next month or two.

I've chippered up a bit and have gotten some stuff done. I did a minor overhaul on the closet in my sewing room to make room for the new baby. I also de-cluttered the room a bit. Now it has on the essentials in it and is more or less ready for a baby. I also did a bit of cleaning in Curtis's room. I finally put all of the baby toys away in a box and then did an overhaul on his dresser. Out with 18m clothes and in with 2T/24m. He hasn't quite outgrown all of his 18m clothes, but I'm tired of looking at them. He's been in them for quite a while. I am very excited for some of the very cute clothes that he now has in his dresser to wear. I'm also glad that he has a nice variety that will take him from summer into fall and winter.

I have also managed to get some of the downstairs picked up, apricot-pineapple jam made, cooked up a loaf of zucchini bread and rescued my onions from bind weed. Thank goodness tomorrow is the Day of Rest and I don't have to feel guilty about taking a nap and not being productive. :)

A Bit of Self Pity

This may not be the best place for this, but I need an outlet and like to type.

I just feel out of sorts and don't know why and don't like it. This isn't a new thing, it's come and gone for several months now. I feel out of touch with friends and just don't know what to do with myself. I've lost motivation to do things or just feel so overwhelmed but all that I could be doing that I do nothing. I hate sitting around staring at my house and all that needs to be done but not wanting to do anything about it. Really I'm just not a home body, but have no place to go to escape. I should probably be a better mom and play more directly with Curtis, but he does such a good job of playing by himself that I just let him be.

I need to find my spark/vest for life. I need to find joy in motherhood and being a stay at home mom. Maybe I need to quite whining and just do something about it.

Growing Up Too Fast

He loves to play with mom and dad's shoes.

My little boy is getting so big! And not just in size. He is really becoming a little person. He loves to talk (and talk and talk) and has a decent vocabulary. Some of his favorite words are tractor, silo, motorcycle, helicopter, farm, juice, dance, show and car. He loves to play with all things boy, tractors, cars, tools, you name it and he's all over it. He loves to ride bikes outside with the neighbor kids. He's also smart. Sometimes too smart for my liking. Not too long ago Travis had some boxes of mason jars in the front room. While Travis and I were still eating dinner Curtis carefully took all of the jars (~15) of the boxes and stood them on the floor. Then he took them one by one (sometimes he tried to pick up an armful but realized that wouldn't work) and lined them up along the window edge. He'd make sure to push them close together so that they would all fit. When he filled up the little window ledge he moved on to the bigger one. I was really amazed by it all. He was pretty proud of himself and so was I. One of his favorite things to do at his grandma and grandpa Edwards house is to line up cars and and drive them on their window ledge.

His favorite summer activity is swinging! He absolutely loves to swing. I think that if he could live on one he would. Yesterday he spent the day with his aunt Joanne and cousins while I was at work. Shelby reported to me that she pushed him and pushed him until she was hot and tired. But whenever she stopped he would whine and say, "be be" (his version of swing) and then she would be a sweet cousin and push him some more.

All in all Curtis is super cute and I just love him to death and can't believe that he'll be two in just a few short months. Man, how time flies!

Zoo Boise

A friend had the wonderful idea of getting together and going to the zoo today! It was great! Curtis loved getting to see the animals and it was good to spend time with friends. Curtis got a bit sleepy about half way through, but he still enjoyed seeing the lions and monkeys.

"Let's get this show on the road and see some animals!"

Curtis thought the Kamodo Dragon was pretty cool.

Riding this little tiger was the highlight of his day!

This is a Mane Wolf from South America. It looked some crazy hybrid fox.

Curtis and his friends. Don't they all look thrilled! ;)

Curtis and his friend Donovan in half an egg.

The whole gang!

Spring

Life around here is much like spring. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's gloomy and sometimes it's windy. We have our good times and bad, but overall the sun is shining. :)

Curtis is growing every day. He learns new words all the time and sometimes I even understand him. His best word these days is cookie. He is always asking for cookies. Too ba

d I'm a mean old mom and won't let him have a cookie at every meal. He is also obsessed with trains and fixing things. He has enjoyed helping Travis fix his lawnmower the last few weekends. He'll pick up a wrench and pretend he's loosening bolts and whatnot. He also enjoys playing with the kids next door that range in age from 2 - 6.

Here's Curtis sporting some of my warm, fuzzy socks as leg warmers.

On a not so happy note my best friend is moving in a few weeks. Granted she is only moving 30 mins away I'm not a happy camper. I know that this is best for her and her family, but I have been separated from a best friend before and I know that it sucks. I've already shed some tears and will probably shed some more. I love her to death and am going to miss being able to drop in on her when I get bored at home.

The school year is winding down which really just means that our crazy summer is about to begin. Travis will be gone for 3 weeks in June and then we're going to McCall for a week!

Family Bike Ride!

We sold the treadmill today and bought a bike trailer!! Since Travis bought me a bike for my birthday we've been wanting to get a trailer for Curtis. And here it is! We got the last one at Costco today and thankfully the weather was great so that we could took it out for the inaugural ride.

Curtis all safe and sound in his trailer. :)

I took Curtis for a ride around the neighborhood.

Travis hooked Curtis up to his bike and took him for a spin!

A Softer Side

Becoming a mom has definitely softened my heart. I have never been a crier and have been proud of that. But since being a mom I find that tears come more often than I would like for seemingly silly reasons. But when I find that one the reasons is when Curtis is having a rough time and I can't do anything about it and at times have inflicted the problem, it really makes me sad.

Take the last couple of weeks for example. Curtis and I went on an 8 day vacation without Travis. I was excited to go see my mom and for Curtis to get to spend time with his grandma. But Curtis LOVES his dad. He likes me, but his dad is his #1. So we had a couple of rough nights and I felt bad that Curtis didn't get to have his regular schedule or get to see his dad. Then we got home and a few days later Travis left for Twin Falls with the FFA for 4 days. Again, poor little Curtis is without his dad and there is nothing that I can do about it. I can see that he misses him and I try not to mention "Daddy" so as to not make it worse.

So, back to the issue of tears. Curtis had such a hard time going to bed last night. So much so that I rocked him to sleep. He never gets such a luxury. But I just felt bad that his dad hadn't been there to put him to bed for the last few nights. So after getting him to bed I got ready to watch the I rented. I have no idea what I was thinking when I got it. It was about this couple who dies when their daughter is a year old and their dysfunctional friends have to take over raising her. It turned out to be a good movie, but it got to me. I guess it pulled at my heart strings to think of Curtis Boy to permanently without his dad. That would really be a terrible thing and I am blessed that Travis is around most of the time.

Fortunately for Curtis and me Travis will be home this afternoon and Curtis can be a happy boy again!